Posts

understood

Hypothesis: What if the fundamental basis for romantic relationships wasn't connection - rather it's about the ability to create a mutually accommodating shared experience? Observation: One of the premises we absorb from culture is that a healthy relationship is one in which two people are on the same page and growing together / in the same direction. It is occasionally tenable ... but only in the short term. Or perhaps a contrived medium term. I believe the problem is the definition of either "same" or "page". And it's compounded if you use the feedback about being on the same page as evidence your relationship is doing well. Observation: I believe the core lie is that the solution is communication. It's not that talking is bad - it's that talking doesn't usually solve things. Worse, if you talk through things with the goal of being understood, then you wind up with two people on the same page who aren't growing in the same direction - b
Post a Comment
Read more

addiction

Hypothesis: What if addiction isn't curable because it's not a disease or a condition - rather it is a symptom of not dealing with undesirable emotions and being oblivious to self-destructive behaviours. Observation: I don't think it's possible to have a life without negative emotions - but if we are either never taught (or never learn) how to face or process emotions (either positive or negative) then most of us defer or suppress them. And then the mechanism of deference or depression becomes a behaviour. And somewhere in there we might call it an addiction. Or perhaps we would simply call the person with those behaviours an addict. Observation: I believe that being oblivious is also a part of it - it is hard to accurately self-diagnose if you don't recognize something is bad for you. Nobody willingly eats poison ... but if someone is introduced to something that is defined as desirable ... which is later revealed to be bad: most of us would hold onto the illusion
Post a Comment
Read more